Playing by the rules doesn't work

I’ve become kind of a private person. Sure, I have written in the past about the problems I’ve had since my accident back in July and other issues in the past. But I don’t like making too much of my private life public. There are few people I let in on the details of my personal life,


But at times ever since my accident I have opened up a little by writing my thoughts, not only on this blog COLUMBIA TALK, but even when I was employed by the Columbia Register.

It helps ease the pain, gives me something to do and keeps my focused that better days are ahead for me.

When I had my original problem with my right leg back in June/July 2008, my friends urged me to sick disability. It’s not that they didn’t want me to work, but they were looking out for my best interests. I decided not too, because I felt bad about trying to live off the government.

Again last February when the Columbia Ledger closed, I was urged again. But I wanted to work and not live off the system. Then, the Columbia Register came into being and I was back working again.

Then July 11 came and my life changed forever.

I won’t rehash the past because I try to look into the future as much as possible, hoping that good things happen.

So with somewhat reluctance I filed for disability with the Social Security Administration back in the fall and they actually received all the information they needed on my application late in October. After months of being asked by the Social Security Administration to sign this form and that form to get information on me and having an orthopedic exam back in February, I finally got my notice today.

Well, if I am writing this, one should be able to tell what the decision was – not good for me.

They don’t consider me disabled.

Again, I’ve been having trouble with filing this, because I don’t like to think I am disabled because I don’t like using the system.

But, enough is enough.

I see these commercials on television, you can get disability for this and that and then when I walked around town, extremely slowly at that and sometimes scared to death because of the conditions of our pavements and streets, I realize how much my life has changed.

I can no longer go zero to 50 in five seconds, more like 50 minutes.

For those of you that thought I was working full-time for the Columbia Register from football season through the paper’s official demise in February, think again. I was getting paid on an “a story basis,” oh yeah, had a written perhaps 25 or 30 stories a week, I would have made out. But that was impossible.

I don’t want to sound like a “cry baby” or anything else, but even with unemployment, it is very frustrating.

Everyone has been telling me all through this that I should have no problem and if there is a person who should get it right away, its me. Well, I have to admit I felt the same way and started planning ahead.

I see people every day when I get in town who are living off the government and are very much capable of working, etc., and they are the ones I feel who are taking advantage of the system. I tried to do it the right way and get shot down. I some how knew because it was me, it wouldn't be easy.

Yes, I will appeal, but the people I see on the streets, who are using the system and getting away with it, I am starting to get angry. I didn’t want to use the system and tried to play by the rules and get slapped in the face by it.

I’ve learned a lot since my accident and this is just one more lesson in humility and taking one for the team I guess.

So, if I seem angry and frustrated with the decision, I am, especially when I see people, who aren’t as worse off as me, taking advantage of the system.